I have never be…

I have never been willing

to surround myself with light.

I have  fought to stay

in the dark. And yet you

come and shelter me,

warm me, illuminate me.

Like you are suns

and you have been waiting

for someone as cold and

as shriveled as I am

to come into the light.

And it didn’t take long for

my hunger for the darkness

to be dispelled. And then

I fought to stay in your light.

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And her mind wa…

And her mind was blank

waiting to be written on

and he wrote in it

he engraved lies

and he painted layers of dishonesty

on top of other lies

and her mind was

no longer blank

but filled with misconceptions

and she believed him

and she needed his falsehoods

And then he left her drowning in the fantasy

he created.

And now she is alone

with the mosters unleashed 

roaming inside her brain.

They ripped out her nerves 

until all she could feel was

them, and she tried 

to make her mind

blank again, but he had

dispelled the clearness and lightness.

And he left her with with a  hunger

for more lies and the monsters

Much too long

today was perfect

or close enough,

everything was back,

back to the way it should be,

back to the way it was.

I forgot our perfectness.

It has been too long,

too hard of a road for me.

But today the perfect was tangible

If not quite there

but almost

perfect enough for me

Why did you shut me out?

I have been waiting

for too long,

much too long.