Is it wrong for me to be friends with someone who lets herself out there.  She lets her dignity and her life be trampled on by other people.  It is wrong, and I know it.  She lets what other people say make her do something.  She lets the words of others bring her down.  But then again, so do I.

I sit in Math class, not paying attention.  I let some stuck up girls comment make me sad.  I let myself judge other people for who they hang out with, their clothes, and how they look at me.  I bet that other people judge me too.  They stare at me and say, “god, Ali is such a bitch, the way she always seems like she is so much better than everyone else.  She isn’t even that smart.”  I don’t know what they say, or even if they say anything at all.  They might just pass me by, without ever noticing if I exist.  Do you think that is possible?  Can I go to a school for three years, and people in my class still not know my name.

It is, because a guy I was sitting next to for three weeks asked my name, and another kid who I have been in five classes with over the last three years called me Aili.   In the movies little kids always say “I bet he doesn’t even know I exist”.  I have always laughed at them, of course they know you exist, their in your class, how could you not know your name?  But still, it is possible.  I have always liked guys that I am friends with, so it has never been a problem for me.

The people who everybody know are so outgoing.  Or mainly, annoying.  They laugh way too loudly at inappropriate jokes in the hallways.  They “accidentally” push you over in the hallways.  They set stink bombs off.  They get busted for having pot at school.  I don’t want to be like them.  I want to be me, and be noticed.  But maybe it doesn’t matter what other people think, maybe it just matters what I think.

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