Trapped

You sit next to me on the bus.  You stare out at the rolling hills of the Orcas.  We talk about your old Rossignol slalom’s.  I know you don’t actually care that much about how it was ridiculous for your dad to buy you skis ten cm shorter than they are supposed to be in the middle of a growth spurt.  But you care that you are talking to me.  You will talk to me about anything and you are a fabulous conversationalist, so I don’t mind.

Actually, I like talking to you.  Maybe I talk to you too much.  People are starting to talk about us as if we might be an item or something.  To me, you are someone who I love to hang out with.  There is something more than that though, you like me.  That gives me security, it makes me feel confident.

I could trap you.  Forever.  It would take no effort on my part.  I could switch partners with someone so I could be with you in Marketing.  I could bump your hand ever so slightly with mine.  I could save you a seat at the campfire or on the bus.  I could ask you if you wanted to hang out.  It would be that easy and you would be trapped.

You like me now, I know that because you have told me.  It is out in the air, common knowledge.  You have liked me for about a year now.  I only suspected until about eight months ago when you asked me out.  Before you asked me out I never did anything to warrant that.  I never flirted with you, but afterwords I realized I enjoyed the security.  I wanted to always feel like that.

Right now you are not trapped.  You could slip through my fingertips and fly away.  I may have made it harder for you to leave because you have seen me at my best.  I have even flirted with you a little.  I let you get to know me and that didn’t make you leave.  I am the opposite, with one exception.  I always leave when I get to know the person, I see too many flaws.

I have decided to let you escape.  I might even widen my arms a little and let you see a larger gap to leave from.  Maybe you will decide to stay.  That would make me happy. I won’t trap you.  I will let you fly.

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